Let’s all be completely raw with one another.
Parenting mutiple children is so easy, isn’t it?
NO! Good joke! I’m not sure that I’ve ever experienced anything like this in my 28 years.
I’ve made it through foster care. Four years old, and I was taken from my mom and dad and placed into my foster mother’s home ( she went on to adopt me seven years later). I had an amazing childhood but not being with my birth family was hard and I know I made my foster mom’s life HARD (we are very close now, but it took years)!
I’ve made it through moving across the country in the middle of my school career. I went to school in New Jersey until I was 11. That summer, we moved all the way to good old Minnesota! I can remember the last day of fifth grade was my birthday and I ate lunch in the bathroom because I was so sad to be leaving New Jersey.
I’ve made it through cold winters. I do not like snow. I do not like cold temps. I do not like ice. This past year was the worst to me by far. I got a brand new SUV in August and December rolled through and I put it in the ditch (thanks Minnesota icy roads).
I’ve made it through hangovers. Let me tell you, as I get older.. the hangovers are harder to get past! I’ve tried to teach myself that for every drink I have, I drink a glass of water and that only goes so far for me LOL!
Let’s get back on track and talk about parenting multiple kids.
How many of you parents have a hard time letting each of your children know they are special?
I have an almost 8 year old ( Kimberly) who does not understand why my 11 month old gets more attention than her. I could remind her all day that she is older and more independent then he is. He cannot eat on his own completely, yet. He cannot go to the bathroom on his own, yet. He cannot walk or talk or do anything besides be cute, sleep, cry, crawl, and make a mess (in the pants and OUT!).
On the other hand, I have a 5 year old daughter(Maddy) who really doesn’t mind that there’s a new addition to the house. But, she is a stepchild and she gets upset that she doesn’t get to spend as much time at home with my husband and me, as her siblings do.
It’s constantly a battle when it comes to my children so I taught myself how to show my little ones that I love them equally and they are each special in their own ways!
Give Them Each Alone Time With You
Alone time with Kimberly consists of playing Uno, playing matching tiles, reading, or making up dance routines. She also loves to help me make dinner.
For Maddy, alone time consists of dancing around the house together or coloring. It’s a little bit easier to please her because of her age.
For my 11 month old… I don’t worry too much about alone time because he doesn’t understand the concept yet.
Spending time with each of the kids alone may not seem like a lot but to them, you’re devoting your attention to them and i promise you, it means the world to them.
Spend Money Accordingly
I went school shopping for Kimberly a few weeks back. Before leaving the store, I grabbed a couple of things for her younger brother and sister. Now, it might not always work to buy something for each kid if you’re shopping for one but let me tell you, it saves a fight later.
Give Them Daily Chores
You’re probably wondering if I’m crazy. How do chores make your kids feel special?!
Giving your kids daily chores to me always seemed more like a disciplinary action rather than an action out of love. But recently, my kids have been FIGHTING over who gets to do what around the house.
If Maddy has more to do than Kimberly, Kimberly gets mad because “it’s not fair that I think Maddy is capable of doing more than she can.” Doing things around the house lets them know they are special because it’s a way of showing what they are good at!
PERFECT! You can have more work girl. More chores for the little ones means less for mama and I am ALL about that.
Tell them how much you love them
This never gets old. I probably tell my children I love them a thousand times a day but I guarantee you, they will never forget it.
Sometimes it’s simple little things, that go a long way. Words can be everything to children. Doesn’t it make your heart happy to be told you are loved?
Embrace Their Uniqueness
Every child is unique in their own way. It absolutely blows my mind that children can grow up in the same household, yet be so different!
Kimberly is a little sassy diva. She is a follower to the max. She sits and watches youtube videos of other children dancing and she mimicks them until she can do the routine perfectly! I love her dancing skills, this is her most unique trait!
Maddy on the other hand is a leader! She likes to do things on her own without being told what to do and she definitely doesn’t like being told what to do. She is unique because she knows exactly who she wants to be in this world. She acts like a queen and I adore that.
Love What They love
Do your children ever coming running to you with a scribbled-on piece of paper? Over the top excited? They want to show you this amazing picture that they drew and love so much, but all you see is scribbles.
We have to be just as excited as they are and love their work. They are learning how to be creative and their little brains are doing the best that they can, to make something fabulous.
Connect With Them Emotionally
I grew up with anxiety and I never knew how to deal with it (I talk about that in this article) and I wasn’t sure who to talk to. Not being able to talk to anyone about it, was very hard.
This is something I never want for my kids and I can imagine, no parent does! This is why you take the time out of your day to ask the important questions.
“How are you feeling?” “Why were you sad today?” “What is it that upset you?” “What are you anxious about?”
Doing this will let the kids know they are loved, and will in turn, make them feel special.
See how simple it is to make your children feel special? What works in your family?
Till next time! xoxo